The Language of Teenagers

As Julia said "I can't write like a teenager. Gabby make it sound more like a teenager." Julia and I realized that teenagers don't describe their day as waking "up bright and early with lots of sunlight." So I took Julia's request and made the script more colloquial and informal. I skipped to where friend one and Amber are talking and made their answers more care free and choppy. By adding "whatever" and "oh my gosh" it sounded more like dialogue. I went back to the top and continued adding more sass to what Amber was saying to make it sound more interesting. I took out the more formal words such as "I finally concluded". I made it more realistic by having Amber say how much she dreaded waking up. Instead of her saying I woke up with lot's of sunshine. I feel like this updated version gave Amber more of a  personality and the dialogue more colloquial.


INT. BED - 5:30 AM

Camera opens on AMBER’s face in a close up, eyes wide open. Alarm starts blaring as she looks off into space.

INT. BEDROOM - 7:00 PM

Camera opens on AMBER’s face. She is filming a video. AMBER looks hesitant before she begins filming.

AMBER

(exhales)

Hey, guys. It’s been a minute since I’ve filmed. Basically, I guess today’s been kinda of a busy day.


INT. AMBER’s ROOM - 7:00 AM

AMBER (VOICE OVER)

So my obnoxious ass alarm woke me up at seven a.m. I dragged myself out of bed and started getting ready.

CUT TO: Amber packing the last of her materials for school. Pan of AMBER walking past knocked out parent on couch.

I said bye to my dad and ran to catch the bus.

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EXT. SCHOOL - 8:00 AM

School is shown in an establishing shot.

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INT. CLASSROOM - 8:15 AM

AMBER (VOICE OVER)

So I had to take this math test in first period. BUT I did study all night for it so I was't nervous at all.

(AMBER is shown looking at her hand for cheats, then looking up, concerned. Pulling her sleeves down to cover her hands.)

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EXT. HALLWAY - 9:30 AM

AMBER (VOICE OVER)

After class, I went to talk to my one of my MANY groups of friends. I wanted to ask them how were their college applications going.

AMBER is talking to a few people in the hall.

FRIEND 1

I asked her if she’d want to hook up sometime and she said for sure but she’d have to hide it from her boyfriend! It’s so annoying!

AMBER

(unenthusiastically)

Wow, the audacity.


FRIEND 1

Hey, oh my gosh, did you ever respond to Dylan?

AMBER

No, he’s not really for me.

(Checks time)

So um, can we talk later? I really have to go study for my test next period.

FRIEND 1

Rolls eyes

Whatever, see you later!

AMBER unlocks an empty room with discarded belongings. She uses a bobby pin and looks around for any security or people hanging around.

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INT. EMPTY ROOM - 9:35 AM

AMBER (VOICE OVER)

Finally,I went to lunch. I was obviously starving at that point. But I worked a lot of hours this week so I had enough to pay for lunch. 

AMBER is rummaging through other people's belongings, taking money from them.

AMBER (VOICE OVER)

In case you’re wondering, I work as a cashier at a near by makeup store which I won’t name.

AMBER close up on saddened, distressed face.

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EXT. PARKING LOT - 4:00 PM

AMBER is shown walking down the street.

AMBER (VOICE OVER)

After school I just went straight to work. Then ended my day by doing my homework for tomorrow. You’re probably tired of me ranting about my day, so I’ll end the video here. Thank you guys so much for watching, and please like, subscribe and hit that post notifications button down below if you enjoyed. My social media links are in the description so bye for now babes!


AMBER sits down on a parking spot, pulls out a notebook and draws inside of it. Her drawings are depressing: they are of her succeeding, with the world around her dark.

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INT. AMBER’S HOUSE - 8:00 PM

AMBER

Hi, mom, sorry I’m home so late. I worked extra hours tonight.

(inhales deeply)

Here’s everything I earned, tips included. This should be enough for the week.

(extends arm with pay)